1) Her Life Crisis is NOT your fault. Stop blaming yourself.
2) Her issues are NOT your fault. Stop blaming yourself.
3) You are hard on yourself, IMO, because that is what YOU are used to. It is what you have learned to deal with challenges in your life. Remember this…..YOU are ONLY a ViCTIM if YOU CHOOSE to be.
4) Honestly, based on your story…and based on what you have written about your W – you would been here NO matter what YOU did/didn’t do. The key……is what are YOU really going to do NOW – with the TIME you have been given.
1. I know it's not my fault. I have been having a hard time knowing I can't fix her problems though. I think I am a fixer. I am one who has attracted women with problems without realizing it. I think I read about this in the NMMNG book as well. 2. I know. 3. I understand where you are coming from. I believe what you are saying. I have always been hard on myself, that is what I do. 4. I have been thinking about this and I think you are right. I have actually thought this would come at some point. For a while now (before this sitch even started) I have almost anticipated something like this happening. I didn't know when, but I had a feeling in my gut. I kept getting a feeling we would stay together until the kids got older and then something would happen. Maybe I have be paranoid about this for a long time.
1. no you don't
2. no you don't
3. no you don't
4. no, not really...
Why are those my answers to you ???
Because if you DID know, and DID understand, then you wouldn't be trying to appease him with the answers...
You loosely understand based on old habits and understandings...
Basically, you "thought" that you knew...
Thinking....got you here.
And while HER crisis isn't your fault...
The events leading to why she is reluctant to work through this WITH you....are
You simply blaming "her crisis" , lets you off of the hook for any kind of self reflection, or accepting any of the blame...
That....simply isn't true...
You are the one here, you are the one seeking change....
