Your just not ready my friend which is Ok. Especially from what you wrote about not being able to enjoy the date etc... For some I think it takes a while...a friend of mine took 2 years before she could really go out and date.
Everyone is different. I think you need closure and not to be in limbo so much. Not fair to you. Personally it killed me for months, lost weight. sleep, was miserable..... Now...while I do miss my daughter not being here all the time I am adjusting to the new life and really have thought deep/hard about what is important to me as a person and for who I choose to spend time with in terms of any new relationship. you will get there!
_________________________ Me-48 Spouse-WAW 52 Married for 10 years D7 ILYBNILWY 7/15 Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial She files 1/2016 Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....