I'm sorry you are finding yourself here, but you will get loads of support and advice from other people that have gone through similar situations. Keep posting, sometimes even journaling helps.
There are a few things that hit home for me in your story. For example the fact the your H says he didn't want a baby after everything you went through. Mine accused me of being negligent and getting pregnant with our daughter (even though we used contraception). He said that he just went along with our wedding, birth of our children, life. Basically he said he suffered throughout our relationship, like he is some kind of hero or Saint. Somehow I heard all of his excuses and didn't let it destroy me, but some things hurt.
Do your reading, post around the forum and do things for yourself.
By the way, regarding your post on MLCer living at home with you, it is very hard, and as job mentioned you can have a look on HaWho's legendary threads, to get an idea on how crazy it can get. My H has a place for most of the week and visits us in the weekend. It is not what I wanted, but it actually works for my sanity. I never thought I would enjoy being on my own with the kids, but the house is so much calmer without him.
Best of luck x
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
