Me and Midlife Wife and Midlife II

[CT1118]

Eric, my PR comrade of recovery...well rested?

I agree. That said, you can help minimize the impact. Create an enviornment that your son feels comfortable talking about how he feels is KEY.

Doing my very best. His interaction with me tells me at worst I am teaching him to drive, at best I am helping him put on snow tires.

Ummm….tell me about it. Trying to understand it…really will just drive you crazy (i.e….applying the “model approach as you mentioned”)

Indeed sir, that quote was my allegorical bow to myself for being in the final stages of the self-sequence as I have experienced it.

As much as this may seem so stressful…it really is not. You really can be who ever you want to be TODAY…and tomorrow..you can decide who you want to be that day. My point….is that when you learn to take life day by day, it get easier.

So a mile marker (like mile markers are in the south. I feel like I read you live in CT. I've been there a few times, CT's exits do not correspond with the actual mileage you have covered in the state, which seems like an obscene was to save on on road signage, nice stone fences though) for me. I was listening to the audio book of NMMNG and the author began speaking to the importance of being alone. I made an intrinsic choice to truly become comfortable alone a few months ago. I realized when I was finishing the audio book the other day that I have succeeded in this, I actually feel really good alone. As in comfortable. Used to be different type of alone I sought. You are entirely correct, I write my own story.

Your mother was a smart women!

Well, she still is, mostly. She spoke 12 languages in her life and was a UN translator. In my teenage years I witnessed her add no. 13 when she befriend an Italian woman and my mother taught herself Italian based upon being fluent in Latin and Spanish, simply amazing. She was not always healthy though, she beat me, she belittled me. However, in my past 7 months of chrysalis I have learned to value the good and the bad qualities of her I can learn from, as well as offering her the most I can when I can offer it. "Look closely at the present you are constructing, it should look like the future you are dreaming" - Alice Walker.

CT, you know I like ya right? I mean really – right? Ummm…not in that way…I just like ya. I think you are really a nice guy. Now that I have buttered you up……
I am going to call bullchit on the above. I think you repeated the convo that your son had with YOU to your W as…..a little guilt trip for YOUR W. You could have said that your son was dealing with some emotional stuff and if she pushed YOU for more details, you could very well suggested that she speak with your son about it. YOU threw it in her face. You USED your son. and because YOU did and I suspect she recognized it….She….

1. I do know you like me. I am further inclined to think that if you saw me, "that way" would be an option for you, even if it would not be reciprocated on my part. This total package is money.
2. Out of curiosity, since you phrased it as a question, I ran it through a search engine.
3. First hit I clicked on was a top 10 list of "genuine friendship". No. 1 on the list - They push us to be more accepting of ourselves. “People feel better about themselves when they have close, supportive and encouraging people in their lives.” No.2 on the list - They call us out when we’re in the wrong. “They’re able to point out some of the negative things you’re doing in addition to the positive." So, long story long, yes I trust you Eric.
4. Dr. Roy J. Lewicki stated of a mixed-motive scenario, "...because people are more likely to perceive negotiation as a win-lose than win-win, conflict and competitiveness drive out cooperation and trust..."
5. You are correct, I did throw it in her face and I did use my son. It was not conscious at the time, but in hindsight, and having finished the NMMNG audio after that incident, further, reading your input, I can't help but see it with any other truth.

Luckily you recovered….it seems. Honestly, I know she thanked you for letting her know. I just wonder if you really needed to provide that much detail. Maybe I am wrong.

Yes, she did, maybe I did not, maybe you are or perhaps you are not. The motives as to why I did are the ones in question. I did feel she should hear it, I did feel like saying it, I did not know the conscious motive When I was in the moment, I did feel guilt on applying my son into the situation afterwards, I learned something from the situation, I forgive myself for it.

I love hoops…I played point guard when I was a kid. I pray that you and your son have lot of fun on the court.

Being raised half-German, I am confident God will not strike me dead for thinking soccer is my second favorite sport, but the German army might; so I stand by soccer. However, the other half is coastal North Carolina mutt blood from NC State heritage and that means B-ball. My boy has the genetics to become a tall, bronze skinned, muscular mega-plex on the hardwood if he one day wishes. Should this $25 Spalding B-ball get him closer to his wishes in life or if it just passes out time, I will be good either way, hopefully he is too.

I still have a warped looking pinky finger because of it.

I insist on perfection, thus I could never like you "in that way" unless that way means enjoying a conversation which challenges me, provides me with smiles, inspirations, and allows for joyful awareness - in such a case, it's all the way.

Peace
Eric

And peace unto you.

Andrew P. - How are you enjoying the book? A fun little text, yes? Supposedly written for children - I would say he threads a needle.