Detached, getting along better, but in limbo....

[Cherry]

Sara we are so damn similar, I swear you are my soul sister! I too am completely independent from him and pay everything, which puts me in a position where I know I don't need to worry too much about financials. But I absolutely think surfer should see a L about protecting himself. I'm not too sure how this works in U.K. Law, so definitely worth a call to your L to see how to best protect yourself. I'm totally glad I never actually got round to getting his name added to my bank account!

I like Sara's suggestion as viewing them as not mentally healthy, I know my wh is depressed. I also know the constant mood swings are just a reflection of his own chaos and have nothing to do with me. And I also don't rise to the bait. Sometimes when he comes at me angry, I give him a hold up, if you're going to shout at me, we will wait and resume this convo when you're calmer. He usually stops dead in his track that I stand up to him and usually changes his tone. Or even worse, they try to pick an arguement, and you validate. A little bit of detachment truly helps you to achieve this without emotions