Cat04, do you really think that if they want out they will just leave, even if they claim finances keep them in the house? The reason I ask is my MLC'er is still at home. I know I shouldn't focus too much on what he does and doesn't do, but some days are really hard and I need to look for something positive. Anything. Even it's just him being in the house. I want so badly for this to mean something positive. Ugh. I feel like such a loser.
Oh, my! This is an oldie from back in 2009 and should have been locked years ago because it is over the 100 posting/reply limit. However, even though I'm not Cat04, I'm going to respond and then lock this thread because it's over the 100 posting/reply limit.
Many of them will leave no matter whether their finances will keep them in the house or not. They are desperate and in some cases they claim to not able to breathe in their homes or feel like they are dying. Some are filled w/panic/anxiety. This is the depression talking. Some will say that they want a divorce and are looking for a place to live, but will not leave. Some use the excuse that they can't find a place to their liking or that they will stay until the children are grown, etc. Some will stay and provoke the spouse hoping that he/she will open the door and shove them out, hence, making them look like the victim and the good person in all of this.
Also, if the spouse expects the MLCer to straighten up, or puts too much pressure on them or asks questions, etc., many of them will leave immediately, especially if the affair comes to light and confront them w/the evidence. It's difficult to predict which ones will up and leave and who will remain in the home for the duration.
As I have posted to you today, you need to keep the focus on yourself, your child and your job. If he's talking divorce and hasn't made a move to leave, then I'd leave well enough alone. I truly want you to think about my question and you can respond on your thread...what do you want? Do you want him to remain in the home, acting out as such and can you put up w/it, i.e., example...HaWho? Can you do this? Or, would you prefer him to leave?
