Cherry, filing, moving. Gaining strength

[Cherry]

so todaybis supposed to be the day wh said he would look after S whilst I am at work. For the past few weeks he hasn't done this, he even told me not to rely on this. He left S with his m. The thing is this evening, I couldn't find S. I found him sat downstairs quietly by the door. I asked him was he going to come to bed. He just kept saying "daddy" then "daddies gone". It took a lot of persuasion and tears to get him to bed. And it took a long time to get him settled. This absolutely broke my heart, wh left early this morning and still hasn't returned. I've felt a lot of levels of sadness throughout this journey, but this has hurt me the most. All I could do was try my best to console him and show him love, but it hurts, and I know that this is how things are going to be, especially when he leaves. I'm not sure what else I can do.

Spending the evening watching some travel shows. Nice easy going shows, and I'm learning about the world and countries too. I have another presentation and some conference calls tomorrow to do, so I know I need to try and get some sleep tonight, I admit sleep has been difficult the past few days, partly an active mind, partly just can't get comfy, oh and there's a baby bouncing on my bladder. I'm trying to really wind down of an evening to bring my runaway brain to a bit of a halt.