AndrewP, I am sorry that it has been two months since you have heard from your W except of course for the times you mentioned. That must be tough. Is she still with OM? I know what you mean about not having much to say.
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I don't really know how they sleep at night knowing what they have done....
Coly23 - I'm pretty sure that my W never moved in with OM and as far as I'm aware (she never told me where she moved to) she's living in the apartment above the store she works in which is about a 10 minute drive from here and an hour away from OM. I don't even know if she's spending any time with him or not. I presume that she is though. Prior to her moving out as far as I could tell they were essentially just dating. No overnights and only a few "out for dinner with friends" times plus of course the afternoons when W would be off work and I wasn't home that required no explanation. When she moved out the indication was that she was still considering a long term relationship with OM. No clue on what she's thinking now or what's happening with them. One weird difference in my sitch is that OM is actually an older (early 60s), responsible business man rather than some young stud.
Just like Jer2911 I would see signs that my W was up at all hours and she certainly didn't sleep well when she was still at home especially after BD2 when I found out about the A. She never did have great sleep patterns though especially after peri-menopause struck with full force.
To be perfectly frank though while I suspect that my W does know what she's done to herself, to me and to our family I honestly don't know how / if it's affecting her. I know that when she was on one of her "up" cycles in June a month before she moved out she was perfectly comfortable with her choices and looked at me with scorn when I mentioned that I was struggling and seeing an IC. From late June to when she moved out she was very down and from her comments then she had realized what a mess had been created.
Is she currently up, down, or sideways? I have no way of knowing. I sit waiting in hope that she'll "come to her senses" while trying to live my own life as if she never will. One of the downsides of this method is we really can't know what they're doing. There's a combination of images that helps me with this based on comments from vets etc. I imagine that she's a scared squirrel in a tunnel. She knows that big bad AndrewP is waiting at the entrance of the tunnel but she also knows that AndrewP can be a great guy who has been known to have peanut butter cookies. She can go up the tunnel, back down the tunnel or take a side branch. I like to think that she's peeking out the end of the tunnel to see what I'm doing and when she sees me, she scampers back in. If I were to bang on the tunnel or stick my head in she'd run like the dickens in who knows what direction. So for this week I've walked away from the tunnel so she can't see me at all (logged off Facebook, no Snapchat stories). I'm very doubtful that it will make any difference though. For all I know she's in another branch of the tunnel with OM and chocolate chip cookies (yes I like cookies). She may have even found OM2 or who knows what.
Sorry for taking up so much space on your thread and I know that this is perhaps a bit of a downer for you while you wait yourself but I hope it helped a bit in giving you some perspective on being a LBS to a MLC who has gone dark.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
