A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

Nothing new to report since yesterday. Had a GAL w/ my Tuesday night pool league last night. Always have a good time w/ that group. The competition helps to get some of the aggression/focus out as well, which is nice.

Snoozed my alarm this morning, so no gym time. Regretting that now as I feel sluggish today. Talked to my L today and have an appointment to come in and see them next Tues to discuss custody options. Right now I'm looking at a couple different options that may work:

1) 1 week with Mom, 1 week with Dad. Rotate into perpetuity

2) 2-2-5: Mon/Tues with Mom, Wed/Thurs with Dad, Fri-Sun rotates every week

W's view is that I get to see D, at her house, every night b/t 6:30-8:30. Then I get D at my house every other weekend. W also "allows" me to take D to do stuff during her weekends w/ her permission (i.e. fish, etc).

I have yet to say this to W, but it appears to be a continuation of her having control over both D and I. The 2hrs every weekday at her place allows her to control the situation. It also allows her to control my dating life when I decide to move on, as I'd be a bad father for refusing to see my D at all available moments. It also gives her free babysitting so she can go to the gym or go running.

The "permission" thing is also highly controlling, for obvious reasons. The every other weekend thing allows her to control things, bc she would be the primary custody parent.

All around, that solution forces D and I to remain in Ws orbit. If we are really going to S and D then I want to find escape velocity and get out of her gravitational pull.

With that said, I'm going to push to tighten our finances now. Get rid of our premium tv channels, pare down our cell phone plans, tighten up our budget. Need to start saving our resources bc it'll get costly for both of us and we'll need the savings to make things work. W continues to spend as though we don't have all these lurking expenses on the horizon.

I'm also going to start looking into living arrangements for myself that D and I can share. At first that's probably an apartment/townhome w/ two bedrooms, but I'd really like to get back into a smaller house ASAP. I like the idea of a stable home for my D and I don't think an apartment gives her the comfort a house does. The only issue is that homes in our school zone are expensive, and I need to figure out the financial situation and live it for a bit to see if it's a fit.

Regardless, I'm tired of the Ws controlling behavior at this point. I'll still pick my battles, but I'm unwilling to let both my Ds and my future be controlled to the T by her. We'll see what comes of it.