I am sorry you are here. Honestly. You can't worry about him getting the help that he needs. The more you try, the more he will resist. This is his decision and your right All you can do is focus on yourself.
Your marriage will never have a chance at success unless both partners want it to. You can do everything right, but if he is incapable of it or if his views regarding marriage and family are not similar, then there is no chance at success. Unfortunatly you cannot convince him of anything. I'm sure you have heard the saying, it takes two people to marry, but only 1 person to divorce.
It is good that he is confused. That shows that he is still attached.
A lot of board members talk about no contact. Sometimes (in my case certainky) this can be used by LBS as way to punish. DB coaches seem to stress rebuilding friendship at the same time as avoiding pursuing behaviors. I was never advised to avoid communication and interaction. But to listen and validate and to take advantage for opportunitities for friendship.
I was not able to be friendly torwards my husband because I was too angry.
I think that basically the WAS is at a point where they are looking for anything to justify them leaving and taking on what they believe to be an easier and better life. Your anger and reactions and actions just give them ammunition.
