Cherry, filing, moving. Gaining strength

[Cherry]

Thanks surfer, I hadn't thought about it from that point of view, but that does actually make a lot of sense to me. He is deeply insecure, he told me of his need to feel loved and mistaking lust/limerance with love. I guess it is a bit of a power thing, making him feel wanted and loves. I think this is what my wh needs- constant fuss and attention. The validation and listening skills is something I've really worked on as he always said I didnt listen. I guess like you say, they want a yes man. And I guess that's where the ap comes in, they'll yes until the cows come home, and give the "you deserve more than they", until the bubble bursts, and true colours come out. Still this is his journey and his lessons to learn.


My wh often refers to the m as "this" or "the situation ". I guess like you say,, family life does become a little bit predictable, but it's nice. I do wonder how he will feel running a home (I always did everything, cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing). And I couldn't imagine not putting my S to bed every night. Yes having a toddler run riot every day can be tough at times, but I wouldn't want it any other way. For me, our house only really became a home when we brought him back from the hosp. And wh agreed, it became a proper family home.

Coly, I said that to him to really think about if it's what he wanted. One day he told me of his doubts, and asked me if this is why people say the first few years of m is tough. We had a big long conversation about how you adapt to one another, and the changes when you start a family. He said he was no longer sure of if this what what he wanted. A few days later, he made out that convo never happened. This is exactly why dbing advises not believing a word they say! So now he shall run full speed ahead. And all I can do is sit by and let it happen. Refuse to hop on the crazy train. And I would gladly let you take my purse for a spin! It sounds shallow, but as a teen, I looked at them and wanted one so badly, that I decided I would bust a guy a university do I could get on a grad scheme and buy myself one. And I did it, even whilst having chemotherapy I would work on my assignments on my laptop, and I achieved a first class honours deggree. When I put my mind to something, I won't stop until I achieve it. I guess this is partly the reason I feel like a failure that my m has failed and there's nothing I can do to save it.

Thinking of stopping off on my way home from work to get a quick tidy up of my eyebrows, I'm Latin, but with natural blonde hair and dark eyebrows, I'm not sure how that happens! H is supposed to look after S today, but even when I asked him about this he said "well I wouldn't rely on that" . Luckily I have a good mil who takes care of him. But I feel sad that S will miss out on this time! But again, out of my control.