Cherry, filing, moving. Gaining strength

[Surfer]

Agggh.

Just did the same iPhone thing....

I will rewrite but briefer as I need to get in the pool!

Begging not etc. Would be an act. You would be faking it once past that 'begging' stage. It's a power trip thing for him due to his insecurities. He needs to work on his insecurities. It's not about you.

My W said I needed to be 'there' - she really meant to show I understand (through validation and a lot of it). I always listened, okay at times I might not have been soooo interested I am a normal man After all. Extreme validation was not and is not my thing if I am honest. I obviously do a lot of it now but it's acting as if really. Again, this boils down to W's insecurities - surrounds herself with 'yes men' drops people who don't agree with her. Something she needs to work on her insecurities. In the same way I need to work on listening.

I think there is sometimes a further thing. It's a basic unhappiness with their lot. Whatever that is. My W used to describe her concerns as 'this' or 'it'. She meant her experience in the M. Every day the same, kids, food, washing, shopping, bed rinse and repeat. I think she felt trapped. She used to say this towards the end. I wonder how life will feel when it's the same with less money? Less time with the kids. When she is doing it all herself. I sometimes see the house a real mess when I pick the kids up - I know she is starting to struggle with that, not always, every now and then. Having said that, I think she would rather self combust than admit she may be wrong with her decision to leave. She might even be right of course. Who knows - or cares frankly?

Hope your day goes well today.

Just thoughts.

Surfer.