Currently the darkness inside is creeping up...it is not taking over, nor does it have a strangle hold, but it is sensed on the fringes. I remain vigilant and on alert so as to not let it in without my full attention and fight... But i need to be able to heal while remaining vigilant...also there is training and gathering a team that is needed.
Music was always a love of mine. It disappeared during my MR...not sure why, but it did. My brother encouraged much to use it to heal...He shared a very dark time in his life and how it helped him...D18 encouraged much the same... I have found value in it...music taste varies as I like music with a message... This is strengthening at times, it heals me at others...it helps me reflect...and feel... when a song with the message and lyrics match that which is in my soul...
This song I have heard many a times, and even thought it was weird song...the lyrics never connected for me, until this past week...I then watched the video and it is haunting...yet, there is a power in it that has allowed me to see a shape to the darkness that is trying to creep in...
Quote:
Shawn Mendes Stitches
I thought that I've been hurt before But no one's ever left me quite this sore Your words cut deeper than a knife Now I need someone to breathe me back to life
Got a feeling that I'm going under But I know that I'll make it out alive If I quit calling you my lover Move on
You watch me bleed until I can't breathe I'm shaking falling onto my knees And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches I'm tripping over myself I'm aching begging you to come help And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches
Just like a moth drawn to a flame Oh you lured me in I couldn't sense the pain Your bitter heart cold to the touch Now I'm gonna reap what I sew I'm left seeing red on my own
Got a feeling that I'm going under But I know that I'll make it out alive If I quit calling you my lover Move on
You watch me bleed until I can't breathe I'm shaking falling onto my knees And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches I'm tripping over myself I'm aching begging you to come help And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches
Needle and the thread Gotta get you out of my head Needle and the thread Gonna wind up dead
Needle and the thread Gotta get you out of my head Needle and the thread Gonna wind up dead
Needle and the thread Gotta get you out of my head Needle and the thread Gonna wind up dead
Needle and the thread Gotta get you out of my head get you out of my head
You watch me bleed until I can't breathe I'm shaking falling onto my knees And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches I'm tripping over myself I'm aching begging you to come help And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches
And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches
This really is what the fight inside looks and feels like for me now...
But, to those following this story, do not fret nor despair... It is in the struggle, growth and progress can happen. it nourishes the strength to fight another day, and prevail in the end...
“Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale.”~ Peter S. Beagle
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
