Life has changed, and I choose to grow from it.

[SH_]

I am making a challenging decision to pull back here in the forums as well as out here IRL...

I have thrown myself into trying to help others and share all that I am trying an learning...
This is a comfort zone and has set me up so that I do not have to face my own challenges, fears, demons and darkness.

They're all creeping in on me and I can feel them advancing more each day.
The numbness that is taking over is making most of my efforts feel hollow and going through the motions.
I have basically faked it...to the point that old, bad, familiar and comfortable habits are returning, as well as some new ones that can not be part of what I am trying to do.

Growth will not come from feeling comfortable...
Growth will not come from doing the same things and hoping for different outcomes.

But first, I really need to ensure that my wounds and injuries have been treated and heal properly...
An injured superhero is a liability to not only him/herself, but also to those that he/she is trying to help out...

The Wolverine in me must set out on a journey to heal, put together the history that is important to know and to retreat within to fight back the darkness, the demons, the doubt and the committee that is trying to convince me of things that do not add up to who I want to be, and what I know I should be.
I need to charge my higher power, as well as rely on a higher power to help me see light inside, feel strength in my soul, and maintain the peace in my head.

I will not be as visible in the streets of DB town, but I will be in the shadows watching over those that can use support from my prayers, those that knock at the door of my hideout that is my thread/story, and in the case that the authorities are not around to help, I will lend my self until which time others can support.

As in the stories of the heroes I have read on, my inner conflict has gotten in the way of the good I wish to provide, and eluded my ability to serve as I would like to...

Please do not hesitate to send up a Bat signal if I can help...