I Guess husband is stuck in a MLC

[AmyTx]

Thank you CaliGuy! That is my hope to stay on His path. I know I'll be okay if I am alone -- or if my H returns.

Can't believe I made it one month since he moved out. I still cry several times a day, but I am sleeping better. So win win!

Today he opened his own checking account and we will finish splitting our finances within the next few weeks. Never would I image that this is where I be. And yay I turn 42 next week and our 17th anniversary is in a few weeks. I thought we had a good marriage -- just rocky the last couple of years. I hate him for doing this and I hate the way I feel all the time about myself and I hate that I still love him so much. The pain is just so unbearable at times. I am writing here because I want nothing else but to call him. BUT ... I won't.

I leave on Thursday to go to the balloon festival in NM. I have never been and I'm taking my 'good' camera. I decide that photography is something that I have always enjoyed and I want to work on that as a hobby.

My mother also introduced me to a friend of hers who went through a MLC a few years ago. Her H came back and they survived! Yay for them. That is my hope, but I'm afraid if I wish for it too much, I'll be disappointed. The few friends I have told -- tell me I need to file ASAP to protect myself and my daughter. But I can't ... I want to keep trying to save our marriage -- but I feel so weak and too close to the beginning. I can't image going through this for years.

I know I cannot fix him and I know that we are separated because of him and I know he needs to work this out himself --- but this so damn hard!!! Guess I better work on me some more!