New here and my wife has cheated. Trying to save M

[bigybiz]

Sober: I really feel for you. My W also started an EA while away. I suspected, confronted, snooped. I had to manipulate her to expose the truth. Then confronted the OM - he dropped her like a stone.

Keep you cool. I begged, pleaded, pursued and it did not help. Only after we were in house sep and I started to work on myself did she start to come around. But, she left as I got stronger and did not give in to her demands, etc.

So don't snoop - it hurts us more than them. At first we had an good arrangement for in house sep where we on a day and off a day. The idea was the other person stayed out of the way. I gave that up and we had a psuedo family life. In hindsight, I wish I had not. We should have had border in the house.

So work out, focus on family work and let her think you are moving on without her. Be a better actor than Brad Pitt, George Clooney, etc. I started catching up on house projects and it made her mad. She saw the changes and actually liked them. But, the anger inside her was devious, etc.

The bad news is - this will go on longer than you think and certainly than you want it to.

Act cool and removed - do everything different. It's a real shot in the arm. I even bought a motorcycle.

We are here with you.

P.S. Confronting the OM is a great tactic.