I know what you are thinking...that is why when my W moved in with OW I kinda freaked and gave her one last chance to come home...well that didn't work...lol....I know NYgal told me she asked her W if they were done before they went on their trip and that is all her W could think of when they were gone and it helped.
I don't know what the answer is...maybe the vets can help you out...I know divorce is just a piece of paper. I always have to tell myself if my W wanted to come home she knew she could....I know your W is stubborn and so is mine...
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017