I have been trolling the boards for some time and the information is great. But today I feel the need to tell my story as I don't know how long I can go on with this hurt. We have been together for 22 years and married for 20. We are both 47.
I think my husband is having a MLC but he won't get any help with it. He is just working and sleeping and trying to figure out why he is not in love with me anymore or why he is not attracted to me anymore. He is textbook MLC except he isn't going out to buy a new car.
One month ago I was blindsided - he lied about an emotional relationship with his co-worker. I caught him in the lie and kicked him out. At the time I was so hurt and I couldn't possibly live in this house with him and the kids and pretend that everything was okay. He has been gone a month and is in no hurry to come back or even try to repair what we had.
Now I am having second thoughts. I feel like I ruined our chances of ever getting back what we had. I have huge anger issues and he is uncomfortable around me because of what he has done and what he is thinking about me - so it's obviously not good stuff.
I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. I cry every day almost all day. I know that I am supposed to work on me and feel better about myself and go about my life but I am just not sure how to do that. I miss my soulmate, my best friend, someone to talk to, someone to love.
We decided that it was better to not talk anymore because I get too hurt as I feel like he is leading me on but we have two kids 13 and 17 and obviously we need to talk about them sometimes.
I am so angry that he left me in the house with the kids and all the responsibility. I also run my own business so I have that to contend with on a daily basis. Sometimes I wish that I could just take off and have a mental holiday because that's what I feel like he is doing.
I don't understand how I can go from being his beautiful wife and honey this and honey that to now NOTHING. He has no answers for me.
It feels like such a lonely existence, nobody to hug me and tell me it's going to be okay. I hate feeling sorry for myself and I am never like this and that is why I can't stand it.
I know there will be life after this, but I just feel like he is doing such a disservice to himself and us because he won't get any counseling or help to try to figure this out. How can you sleep every night knowing that you didn't do everything you could do to save your relationship and your family?
