WHs do come back--Piecing--acceptance & time

[Sotto]

"Do you think reconcilation is possible if the WS does not show remorse in a way you can accept? What if they refuse some of the "rules." (like my WH recently was alone with a female co-worker in a non-work environment and this triggered me, he feels this is me being controlling)"

JMHO - but no I don't think it is possible under these circumstances. If someone isn't showing remorse, or willing to do 'whatever it takes' then it's a it of a non-starter I think.

It took some time for me to fundamentally realise that I didn't want to be in a R with someone who wants to 'browse' or have inappropriate contact with others outside of our R. That's not the kind of R I want to have or how I want to live.

So, when you ask 'is R possible' the fundamental Q is 'is it possible FOR ME' in those circumstances. I suspect the answer would be no.

The thing is, soonish after BD, we are so desperate to get things on track, we try and work with what isn't really possible. And actually, it takes two people being 'in' to really make this work - not one 'in' and one kind of 'halfish'

That's JMHO of course....and it may sound a little uncompromising...but that's where I came to over time.

Good luck with things Blu xx