S is doing well, his back is much better. Both kids seem to be doing well but have been all over me lately. Literally hanging on me sometimes, coming up and rubbing my back, getting in my face, and sleeping with me a lot again. I feel bad they've occasionally made comments such as "I wish mom was here", etc. but haven't mentioned it to W. Making sure to give them lots of attention which is a lot of why I haven't posted in awhile.
W moved a bunch of stuff into the basement and garage last week. IDK if it was a good move on my part but as I said I'm trying to be a friend. I also gave her some money until she gets paid at her new job. IDK want her to think I'm trying to be controlling but she was complaining about spending all her money to move back so... I had to go out of town one night and I didn't want her to have no money watching the kids.
W has been coming over in the morning and taking the kids to school after I get them ready and coming over after she gets done with work, staying until after dinner but not putting them to bed. Last week she seemed to be nice and friendly when coming over but she seems to be distancing a little again.
Last week W started a new job. I have been very encouraging and supportive. I think it is really good for her to get away from the people at her old job (goes without saying for OM) but everyone else as well. I've been telling her she was too good for her old job. An old coworker told her that her old boss said she'd be back within the year. Ha ha, he doesn't know her too well, she's definitely done now.
I ended up giving her another massage last week and we seemed to be getting along well. She texted me that night and thanked me. Friday we all went out to a nice dinner (w wasn't on her phone at all!) and she invited me to bring the kids by her new work the next day. I took her lunch and brought the kids out. She thanked me for lunch, seeming genuinely surprised and happy for it, and came by that night but left kind of abruptly. Her texts also almost stopped since then. The day before we texted 25-30 times, but since just a few.
Sunday she took the kids to a birthday party in the afternoon and back over in the evening. It was kind of weird when she came back she said "I got a number from a fireman" pulling it from her pocket, then said "he told me they do birthday parties at the station" then said he was there with his wife and kids. IDK why she told me like that but I realized how much I haven't detached, for a couple seconds it felt like a punch in the gut, then I had to stop those terrible thoughts. Later that night she made a comment and laughed, "you should have seen your face when I told you I got a number from a fireman..." WTH. She also mentioned the day before she got asked out. Is she doing this on purpose to make me feel bad?
Sunday evening we went out to have ice cream as I felt bad I forgot to send gluten-free treats with S to the party and he couldn't have hardly anything. While we were having ice cream a college friend I haven't seen in 12 years came in. He talked to us for quite a while. He is divorced and has his S every other week. He started saying how lucky he was to get every other week, how the system was messed up in our state, how much his S meant to him, etc. I could see W get really uncomfortable.
She came over just before I needed to leave for work today and again after. I talked to her about her day, but she didn't stick around long and was on her phone a quite a bit. I've kept consistent and caring but I can see something changed in the way she's acting again. Beating a dead horse but I think her extra time with her MLC friend is having an effect on her again. I can see all of W's solutions are external band aids (constantly talking about making lots of money, vacations, new car, etc. - funny because we could have all of those things working together) and her friend going around to concerts, buying crazy expensive meet and greet ticket$ for a few minutes with someone who probably cares less, and getting tattoos every other week isn't helping. She is depressed, no kids, etc. and that is how she lives and W is paling around like they're 15. She gave W a self help book...for zombies. Ugh.. I wanted to ask her to take her MLC serious but kept my mouth shut.
Our anniversary is this week. I bought a blank card as I couldn't find anything for the MLCer. Taking a cue from reading other threads I was going to tell her thank you for the memories, etc. but I'm still not sure if I will give it to her or not.
