Life has changed, and I choose to grow from it.

[SH_]

Updates and journaling.
The weekend was really nice with my girls.

The joy and happiness of D6 is just so…
almost palpable...
What a sweet spirit she is.
She was goofing off in the kitchen while D18 and I were registering for the Hot Chocolate Run coming up in December...
Yes, I said Hot Chocolate 5k run...running and Chocolate...lots'o chocolate....How sweet is that!??!?!?!
LOL
Anyway, she was supposed to be watching her show Lab Rats, (that she has got me hooked on by the way. If anyone needs a completely LBS friendly show and laughs, it is pretty good.) But was in the kitchen playing around, when we heard a BANG!...Then a squeal...then her crying.
D18 ran out and when she did not holler to me, I knew she would be okay...…but she cried and cried so I went out to see what was going on.
D6, is a bit of a drama queen....and was kind of carrying on....
I got frustrated a bit and started grilling her about what happened and when it came out she was "playing"in the kitchen, I asked her what we have discussed about that....
I may have gone on a bit longer than I should have and D18 called me out and asked if I could continue the interrogation after d6 calmed down.
I knew she was right, but the emotion of anger started, as ego kicked in...…I held it down. Picked up my baby girl and carried her into my bedroom, set her down, calmed her down, told her I loved her and then we had a pleasant conversation about the do's and don't of the kitchen.
The child likes to put a blanket on her head and wander around...she has gotten a bit taller in the last months and her nose is right at counter level...yup, walked right into it.
Crazy child of mine....
All is well and I have another lesson of maintaining calm, make my fatherly point, but with more appropriate timing.

So, I have a decision to make, as Saturday morning when d^ woke up, she announced to me that she had a good dream.
I asked her what it was.
She said that she dreamed that she was at her grandma's house during fall break.
I said, nice.
She said, Gma invited her and her mom to visit.
Gma lives in another state.

I knew what this meant...
So I saw STBX as she picked D6 up Sunday to attend a church program as we had agreed earlier in the week.
Saw her at pick up and when she dropped D6 back....
She did not mention anything...

Then late last night I receive a text asking what my plans were during the week of d6 all break.
I replied that I was looking at options for the Monday, Wednesday and Thursday for that week.
She replied, only Wed. and Thursday and that she wanted to take D6 with her to visit her parents.
I replied that Monday was the holiday....
(The is a point, because on Labor Day, it was my Monday and Tuesday with D6. When I asked her what time she would drop of, she was a little sarcastic in telling me that it was a holiday after a weekend and that the D paperwork said that the parent with the child on the weekend gets that Monday as well....Okay.
Lesson learned for me to pay more attention to those details.
Interesting one month later, she does not remember the detail she pointed out to me???
You are right...it does not matter, but where is the rub....
She replies,
Oh. Ok. Well if you can't find a daycare for her that week. I would like to to take her to Utah.
30 seconds later..
Are you trying to take work off?
Forget someone to babysit?

I chose not to reply...
Her emails are sporadic and based on pst text or phone conversations tend to lead to a blow up.

So, my decision and what I am praying for guidance is,

1. Let her take D6, because I know D6 loves seeing her grandparents, and there is benefit for my D in that relationship.

2. STBX wanted 6 weeks in D paperwork for vacation time per year...My L said no way! 2 weeks, and anything more can be decided by us when we can be cordial about it. STBX already took D6 for 2 weeks over the summer. I also know a storm is brewing because she wants 2 more weeks in December to go to her parents. Tell her no, because she has already taken the time.

3. Let her do it, knowing that will squash all future debate for December....

Option 1 is me looking out for D6, but may be giving to much rope....
Option 2 seems the most fair to keep balance and peace until we can co parent and communicate effectively.
Option 3, I know just seems a way to gain leverage and not so sure I want that to be my style.

So I will pray and meditate on it, make a decision and accept what ever may be.