WHs do come back--Piecing--acceptance & time

[LiM]

Sandi pointed out something that was very important for me. I had forgiven my W for the A but I had not forgiven her for the betrayal. Its weird that they two were separate for me but I realized that I had become very angry and I was angry because of the betrayal and the deceit. I realized that I had to forgive her for that and so I did. I did it alone. I did not tell my W that I was forgiving her for that. I was alone in a hotel room on a business trip in prayer and I forgave my W for the betrayal. I said it out loud and I said it several times so that I knew I meant it. Doing that means that I have to let it go and no longer hold it against her.

So long as you are being reasonable in your "rules", the WS should comply. If they don't, then I don't feel that they are truly remorseful. And without that, I think the R will never fully recover.
There is a book on Amazon about How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair. It is short and very direct on what the WS should do to help you heal. If they aren't willing to do these things, then I'd worry about the future of the R.