Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 5)

[PsySara]

Part of validation is understanding you can MAKE your spouse feel one thing or another. I would have said, "I can see how that would be concerning, sometimes I am going to feel sad and it will show." Full stop. You aren't making her feel one thing or another, she is responsible for her emotions and that includes the guilt for walking out of her marriage. You can also just agree to disagree. If she threatens to stop outtings together unless you "pull it together" then just say, "That would be regretful but I can understand why you would choose to do that."

This puts the onus back on her without you getting into an argument while keeping boundaries in place.