HAHAHAHA! All the jokes made me actually crack a smile.....but that Mickey joke takes the prize! I actually retold it today!
I somehow survived this weekend. Kid was well behaved and enjoyed herself. I somehow got the paper done. I slept barely, and my house is a wreck, but I survived. Oh, and my dad is talking to me again, thankfully. I made sure D9 facetimed him after I was out for 12 hours on sunday. He saw me half passed out on the couch and I think he understood.
Nothing is new as I think I am overwhelmed, sad I lost the condo, and I am just so disgustingly lonely. This time last year I was in a new R that I really saw going somewhere, a month out from going to Disney for the first time with D and I just felt sooooooo HOPEFUL and good and excited. Not so much this year. I'd do anything to feel the way I did last year. But I don't and I'll just have to deal with it.
Ex facetimed D9 last night and she says to him "why are you calling me?" He said he missed her. I think he really just felt it obligatory. He hasn't seen her since last Thursday and won't see her again until this Thursday, but he gets the whole weekend. I get a break. He's taking her to a wedding instead of her cheerleading game, so I couldn't go anyways. She was extremely clingy to me this weekend, much more huggy than her normal huggy self. I'm sure I'll miss her when she is there.
Just a disclaimer to the newcomers to this area. I have been healed, lol. I have moved on. I have made a life for myself that I do enjoy. I've accomplished many things I can't believe I did under the circumstances. I learned to loved myself and I now how to be alone. That's pretty much what I have , alone. Hopes of a new future dashed me a bit, and let's get real, I've spent my adulthood divorced raising a child alone without much by the way of relationships. I am a rarity, and it's a but of a void that can only be filled by a partner. And I mean a PARTNER. I am patient, not reaching out for anything willing to have me, but it's time. But I will never consider myself a failure in this journey. I'm still a success. A success with needs and heart:)
