My first thought.... Get a lawyer. No downloaded papers online. You've been married too long, have kids...... You NEED a lawyer to protect your financial interests.
My second thought...... Third time's a charm. This is what I realized about my ex. His first affair early in the marriage, I forgave as a youthful mistake. His second when the kids were preteens, I came here, DBd my butt off and we reconciled and were better than ever. His third episode, several years later..... He moved out and I realized at that point, there really wasn't ANYTHING he could do that would make me trust him again. (Not that he ever attempted to come back, but it was helpful for me to realize at that point that even if he DID come back begging, I would never be able to trust him again).
Third- whether YOU are done yet or not is totally up to you. No judgment here. But the most important work you need to be doing right now is your own personal growth. And part of that growth is figuring out why you settled for less than you deserved in your marriage. Then think about what dreams of yours have you set aside for your marriage? What do you secretly dream of doing ? Its time to create the life of your dreams; if your H comes running back to join you in that fabulous life , you can always decide then whether he has done sufficient work on himself to be worth considering back in your life.
(Btw...... I know what you're thinking, and I agree.....worse than the infidelity is the prolonged lying about it. Yup. Been there, got the t-shirt.)
