I wanted to add my bit about detachment. Just thought of it, so feel free to edit or polish :-) I think of the "act" of detaching much like dieting, in that it is a conundrum, and the more you focus on it, the worse it will be.
When people go on a diet to lose weight, the focus becomes on eating less, which in turn causes them to think MORE about food choices. Well, the more you think about food, the more likely you are to eat or crave it! Well if you are craving food, and then deprive yourself of it, this perpetuates a negative cycle. So if you eat said food, you will feel guilty for breaking the diet and feel worse about yourself. Overall, you either lose weight with a feeling of deprivation or you eat more and thus feel like a failure.
IMHO a better approach to dieting is to incorporate healthier food choices and a healthier lifestyle in general. The more you can add things in that make you feel good about yourself and your image, the more confidence you gain. I think most people agree that confidence leads to success. So instead of dieting by deprivation, it is better to make a list of things you can have and do.
Here is a list (totally pulling this out of my bum right now): 1. Unlimited vegetables and fruits; get creative with new choices 2. Drink a big glass of water before and after every meal 3. Preplan all meals and prep for the work week 3. Try a new dance class or something more bold 4. Take a hike somewhere beautiful at least 3 times a week or even stroll the neighborhood if less time 5. Sleep 6 - 8 hours a night 6. Only go out to eat twice a week 7. Sunday is cheat day 8. Join a support group around weight loss with fun meetups 9. Take kids to park and climb structures with them 10. Start walking to errands instead of driving 11. Start checking that step-tracker on your phone (it's on there) and compete with your friends!
Ok, ok, you get the point. Doesn't this sound better than just restricting yourself of calories? And then feeling down on yourself when you eat?
So how is this THAT different than detachment?
I think you will all have more personal success and feel better if your focus is not on the act of detaching, but rather on things that are good for YOU and in your control. Over time, if you keep at it, you WILL have success.
-Blu
I agree.
There's two different things - the PROCESS and the RESULT.
In the long term, the process is a lot more meaningful than the result. Sometimes, you'll have a good process and get a bad result. It happens. That's like going all in on aces and losing to 5s because two 5s showed up on the flop. You can't control that. But if you go with the right process, over time, it will yield successful results more often than not.
So the focus should be on the steps to achieve detachment...not on the detachment itself.
