Thank you Ginger, I had that exact conversation with my little guy. It will take some monitoring but he's got to be in charge of himself. Dimwit dad or no, it would be time for him to be responsible either way.
D13 had a big achievement recognized this weekend and Mr. Fantastic with his FGF, I with My Guy, and all the kids (my boys and FGF's three youngest) went to celebrate for her. It was nice for her to have such a big crew there cheering her on but it was hard on me.
After we left My Guy asked about it. I struggle so much with the fact that I'm GOOD with the divorce and happy with where I am now, but still SO full of anger and hurt from how Mr. Fantastic treated me, during the marriage and since then. It is confusing to be happy with My Guy and hurting over the ex at the same time. When will that stop being so raw?
My Guy said, too, that his goal was to get things where he could see Mr. Fantastic or the FGF in the street and greet them without it being awkward. He's OK -- he said several times he looked at them and found them staring at him, and then they'd quickly look away. No one greeted one another. I did my best to ignore them, and My Guy just watched for cues on how to act. His wanting to be friendly with them upset me. Unreasonably. I know it's petty and bitter but it's true, as I told him, that if every single person I knew could greet Mr. F with a glare of contempt then I would be satisfied. I'm not proud of feeling that way but I can't hear his name without thinking of another way that he hurt me. Things bubble up constantly -- the lies he told while we were separated, his Tinder profile, his blatant reaching to the OW while I was sitting there saying, DO NOT REACH OUT TO HER (and he reported back to me what she was saying in real time - it was so ridiculous). The way I would watch his phone light up while we were having sex and see messages from her pop up. She only did it to get a job but all together it's a crater straight to the most hurt part of my heart, and while I'm working to fill it back in, it's been a long process.
When will that part end?
Other than the above, things with My Guy were very, very smooth this weekend. Something has clicked for me and we've relaxed into things a little more. It will be interesting to see where that goes.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
