I feel for you buddy. You are drowning right now. You're world has been turned upside down and you just want the pain to stop. But I'm going to pass some 2x4's your way. You've been her less than 2 weeks and unfortunately, I don't see you following much of the excellent advice that has been passed on to you. You must DETACH and you have to do it now. You have to realize your M, as you knew it, is over. Its done. LET HER GO! You need to emotional separate/divorce her. You don't have to do anything legal right now but you have to realize she is gone. The sooner you can do that, the sooner things have the chance of turning around. Your W has not had to experience any loss yet and she has to. She must see that she has lost you. Detach, 180, GAL and go dark. Anything she says/does right now should be irrelevant to you. You can't demand that she respect you and you can't make her stop the A. She has to choose to do those things and that can't happen until she has experienced loss. It doesn't matter if she stays in the house, goes to MC counseling with you or if you S. Until she has experienced loss, chooses to end the A and demonstrates true remorse, there is no moving forward no matter what you do. So you might as well turn your attention to yourself. As far as her texting the OM while laying in bed next to you, I wouldn't stand for it. I wouldn't even allow her in the MBR so long as the A is on going. If I were you, I would move all her stuff out of the MBR. Put all her stuff in another room. You can be polite to her but you do not need to explain anything to her. She doesn't deserve to know anything about what or why you are doing things so long as she is living a life outside of your M. This can be turned around but you've got to follow the process and the rules.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
