Cherry.Papers filed "am I making a mistake".focus!

[Cherry]

Been given some insight as to what the conversation he wants to have is about, basically he has the papers and wants me to see them.. I'm not sure why or if I do.. but I will mentally prepare myself for this conversation. TBH I don't even know if emotions would get the better of me. I've known this is coming for a few weeks, I would in no way say I'm at peace with it, but I guess the fights gone out of me. I started determined thinking I could bust this d, but now he's found a place to live and he's filed, in just kinda "ok this is happening" and I'm working more on keeping myself together and getting stronger (which is effectively db and saving myself). Of course I'd love to save my m, but there'd be a lot of work, and the amount of hurt that he's caused me, I just don't see him ever coming back.

Despite this, when I did see him, I was upbeat and friendly enough, like a passing neighbour. He was asking how I was getting on in the pregnancy as he heard me being sick.. then he was the one wanting to continue to talk, but I said I had something to do an excused myself..

I'm kinda surprised myself I'm not a crying mess. I dunno if I'm numb and closing off my feelings, or if I am just at a stage of "why bother". He is treating me badly, and I'm not okay with that.