Feeling Lost 3

[srt]

Hi all, yes finding it very difficult for the above reasons - seems like mixed messages.

What I'm finding really hard is wondering how do I show my changes (since it's been so long since BD) if she is not around to see them. I wonder how much notice she is taking of me and my improvements (which I have done for me btw) and then panic.

I keep reading mlc takes a long time, and I know she is still having all the symptoms, but this is coming up for nearly 2 years of mlc behaviour and I'm starting to worry that this is it...... forever.

I know this is me focusing on all the negatives and giving her too much headspace, it's just when we are doing things on these "dates" I get the impression she isn't really that bothered about them.

Like I said I think all I can do is step down and see what happens, but this was one of my flaws before where I would rarely initiate any dates - time for a 180? or not since the feedback is not overwhelmingly positive?