Looking at your phone records seems fairly benign to me. Confronting your H is OK too, I think. To let him know what is acceptable or not to you. The fact that he was sorry about it says that all his talk about filing D is ... at least he hasn't completely decided. Which is good.
But here's what you have to do: decide what you're going to do if he resumes. Or if you see some other evidence that he's cheating on you. You can confront him again, sure. But then what? If he crosses that boundary, what are YOU going to do? You can't force him to stop seeing other women. What can YOU do that is within your control? I'm not saying it will come to that -- but you have to think about it, so that you don't just make empty threats. More importantly, you have to make this into something that YOU are controlling about YOURSELF, rather than you trying to control his behavior.
Simple, but difficult.
And all easy for me to say as an armchair advisor.... I know this stuff is really hard to live through.
Be an excellent person, Z.
Thank you for this. I totally know what you are saying as I am wondering the same thing. He says he will not talk to other women anymore and he does sound genuine..more genuine than I've heard him sound in a really long time but he is also quite the liar so I don't know if I should really believe it or not. I didn't really threat with an ultimatum I just said that this was crap what he was doing and that something needs to start happening and I suggested counseling and he agreed to talking with the counselor. I know I have no leverage on him so I really don't have anything to threaten ya know? I just kept telling him that no one in this world is going to love him or work as hard for him as I will and that I've proven that through all that has gone on. I made sure I said this not in a begging way but I matter of fact stern way. That could be totally wrong as well. Could I count this as my "Ask for what you want" thing?
Me: 27 H: 27 Married: 3 years H left May 2016 Daughter: 3 years old
