I find your son's action troubling. You are in a no win situation with regards to his and his mother's relationship. Perhaps you should mention it to his therapist, that you view it as a potential problem, ask him/her to explore it with your son and then drop the issues. Have you addressed this issue with your coach here?
I have read elsewhere that a marriage is between absolute equals. That within a marriage there are no gender roles except obvious biological one's. That how the roles where handled are between the spouses and only the spouces.
It would seem your wife feels she was assigned a role with no real imput from her. That discussing it with you is a lost cause. In the end she will fill the role you and her children have assigned her. She is caught in a box with no way out.
If this the case you doing what she asked does not address the real issue. Have tried asking her "so what do you see as the options"? Notice the "s" at the end of option? Ask her for three options, chose one and discuss how to implement it. All three are options she chose. How to implement it is discussed and act on. Can you see the difference?
