SoEffingLost---Please help 2

[TimR]

Lost, I have read your update and this thread and boy do I ever feel for you! I remember that panic, the anxiety, the depression, tears, sleeplessness, and fatigue. I really do feel for you.

I cannot tell you what to do, every person has their own path, every person has their own timeline and things happen in between. You have received some great advice on your thread and there is great advice in Sandi's Rules. No matter what you do you must find a way back to you. You need to find that person you were before meeting your ww. In fact you probably have changed a lot and need to find the new you.

However, you can not do that in the situation you are in. As terrified as you are now, I am living proof there will be better days. As far as confronting her, WW's are extremely rebellious and spiteful. In my circumstance I left my own house. I know that is not recommended but I had other factors to consider. So I lived in a gym for two weeks and then got an apartment for a month. Those were tough, tough times and I am not recommending you leave. Here is what I am recommending you do:
Play out scenarios here. If I do this and she does that what should I do next??? Read and consider everyone's point of view. Find someone you can speak to in person... I had some friend I check in with and the best one hour conversation I had was with my priest. If you trust them seek their advice about what you should do, but taking only as a consideration. Think long and hard about any decisions you make cause they will affect the outcome of your whole sitch. Then decide what you are comfortable with and stick to it as long as you have reason for doing it.

Finally, do something, anything for you. I joined a gym, lost weight and enjoyed spending too much money on clothes that fit. Its ok to be selfish at this time of your life, just don't dig yourself too much of a whole. But I feel it is helpful for a distraction to hand that one moment of happiness in a miserable day. It will also give you glimpses of what life can be like.

As time passes you will find more moments of happiness and more sleep. You can only control you and she will stay or go, so you take control over you and make yourself happy and whole again. One of the best quotes I heard was from my priest who told me "forgiving someone is not saying their actions were ok, but that their actions no longer control you."

I wish you the best of luck.