It's so hard isn't it. So many sleepless nights, emptiness, and sometimes just waiting. Often LBS find themselves waiting but not even sure what they are waiting for. A text? A change? A shred of hope? Life goes from seemingly normal to crisis mode and the icing on the cake is that we have lost all self worth and strength to recover or pull ourselves out of it.
I think the 180s and GAL serve as a distraction as much as the do a means to heal. I look back on so many times that I forced myself to do something, anything, just to get my mind off of H. I can still say that doing those things were better than stewing in my misery. It's about faking it until you make it. And honestly there were some great moments in that dark time--I built up Rs with wonderful people that I may not have otherwise. New friendships with people that don't know your H can be wonderful too.
One thing that I told myself that helped was that I knew I would not feel that way forever. Think about the hardships and losses you have experienced across your life. Can you recall the hardest one? Do you remember how you felt initially? Then a year later? Then several years later? Even if your perspective didn't change the intensity of the emotions will always fade over time. So part of your GAL is just buying that time. I promise this will not hurt so much down the road!
(((Coly)))
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
