Life has changed, and I choose to grow from it.

[SH_]

Ramblings of a broken man part 2-
Still the disclaimer to read at your own risk...

So I am an avid runner.
Everyday up at 4 to go for a few mile run...
This week the runs have landed to inspiration, motivation and some tears as the mid beats me sometimes and take over the thought train....
I run with music in my ear and my taste in music is varied...
My iPod runs a random track so the sequence is never the same...
This morning it was as if a higher power took over the sequence and tried to pass a message to me...
Bear with me as this may sound corny to some, and I am not exactly one to believe things of the supernatural, but the following are the tracks that played and some of my heads thoughts as they came through....
Emotions were firing, and my run was so brisk, that when I finished I was not even sure if I ran my normal route as it was all a blur.

Here is the sequence of songs.

Nickelback-
What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?

Are you waiting on a lightning strike?
Are you waiting for the perfect night?
Are you waiting 'til the time is right?
What are you waiting for?
Don't you wanna learn to deal with fear?
Don't you wanna take the wheel and steer?
Don't you wait another minute here?
What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You're only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don't you be afraid if you fall
You're only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for the right excuse?
Are you waiting for a sign to choose?
While you're waiting it's the time you lose
What are you waiting for?
Don't you wanna spread your wings and fly?
Don't you really wanna live your life?
Don't you wanna love before you die?
What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You're only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don't you be afraid if you fall
You're only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?

Tell me what you're waiting for
Show me what you're aiming for
Whatcha going to save it for?
So whatcha really waiting for?

Everybody's gonna make mistakes
But everybody's got a choice to make
Everybody needs a leap of faith
When are you taking yours?

What are you waiting for?

You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You're only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don't you be afraid if you fall
You're only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?

You gotta go and reach for the top
What are you, what are you waiting for?
Believe in every dream that you got
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You're only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?

What are you, what are you?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
What are you, what are you?
What are you, what are you waiting for?

Seriously!?
What am I waiting for?
I have printed the lyrics and will read them daily.

Matchbox 20
"Unwell"

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why


But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind


But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away


But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

Um, yeah....This is me...
I'm not crazy...just a little unwell.....

Ashtar Command
"Deadman gun"

Your hands upon
A deadman's gun and you're
Looking down the sights
Your heart is worn,
And the seams are torn
And they've given you reason to fight

And you're not gonna take what they've got to give
And you not gonna let them take your will to live
Because they've taken enough and you've given them all you can give
And luck won't save them tonight
They've given you reason to fight

And all the storms you've been chasing
About to rain down tonight
And all the pain you've been facin'
About to comin' to the light

Your hands upon
A deadman's gun and you're looking down the sights
Your heart is worn,
And the seams are torn
And they've given you reason to fight.

And you're not gonna take what they've got to give
And you not gonna let them take your will to live
Because they've taken enough and you've given them all you can give
And luck won't save them tonight
They've given you reason to fight

And all the storms you've been chasing
About to rain down tonight
And all the pain you've been facin'
About to comin' to the light

My heart is worn....the seams are torn...and I have been given a reason to fight
My daughters
I am not gone take what they re going me anymore....you can't have my will to live on...I have given all that i can give....I have a reason to fight on.....
I am looking down the sights.....my aim is on a better and more fulfilling life!!

Five for Fighting
"Superman"

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed but won't you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me
Up, up and away, away from me
It's all right
You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy, or anything
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me

Irish stopped by my thread and called me a SuperHero.....
It touched my heart that day...
But...
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me......

Imagine Dragons
"Demons"

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale

I want to hide the truth
I want to shelter you
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

When the curtain’s call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you made

Don’t want to let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don’t want to hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I want to save their light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

Demons.....
Don't stand to close....
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide

Nickelback
If today was your last day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
(If today was your last day)

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

I must live each day as if it were my last....

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

The longest stride.........