Her MLC: The Battle I Didn't Choose

[Brubeck]

Thanks & praises to MrBond and CaliGuy for their 2 cents...

And despite her self destructive nature, you should try to reign in your anger. Calling the mother of your kids a slut is going to come out when you're with them. Don't put them in between you two.

I agree that I shouldn't put them in between us, and I don't believe I am. She is using them - she has gone so dark that she doesn't communicate about school activities. When something happens regarding school activities that requires my assistance, I ask why am I being asked to participate in this at the last minute only to provide relief or support that nobody else can? She just gets frustrated and says "well you should have asked me about this." That's right, ask about something I didn't know was occurring in the first place. Makes sense.

My derogatory comment about her is a reflection of her as a W, not a mother. It's an apt description for many and an honest expression of my feelings at this time: I think my W is a slut. This is why I am enraged and heartbroken at the same time. She wakes up one day and decides it would be more fulfilling to be a slut than be my wife. I'm not at the 'shrugging my shoulders' point of it yet.

you do probably need a good dose of Boundaries. You can not control her, but you need to place some boundaries in to protect yourself. Her using you till she is set to jump into the other tree would not work for me TBH ... you may want to give this some thought. ... just my 2 cents.

I believe so, but I don't know how to create that. She doesn't know I know... 1) about the A 2) Her plans to become financially independent and then tell me to move out. This is all I've heard her tell friends while snooping. So I guess I have to create boundaries by backing off. Or is there something else I need to do? She's gone dark, she only contacts me to coordinate when I'll be home so she can leave. Maybe too much of this is just going on in my head.