Me and Midlife Wife and Midlife II

[CT1118]

Though...on my sitch, which I have not directly spoken about on this thread in a bit, which I was going to moan about before I wrote my MLC wax poetic a couple days ago.
A few days ago, last Sunday, day after spouse's Bday, which was one day after s5's bday, I am on my balcony of my apartment (third floor, chose it on purpose, gets extra exercise in just to come and go)enjoying a lovely day and reading a text book. My son comes outside and says "daddy, I wanna talk". Delighted, I feel. He begins and without recreating 18 minutes or so of convo - he tells me he is sad inside, feels confused, afraid for me, concerned about his mother, likes her OM, her OM is "bigger" than me (why he was afraid, he is wider than me - I'm playing nice), tells me OM is there some nights, he wishes "you and mommy would play the song of love again" (I know where he got this phrase, she gave me small statues when he was three of a man and woman playing instruments and we told him they played the song of love, but how he remembered that? wow!).

It was heavy, but I encouraged emotion, told him it was ok for him to share, I showed no disrespect, I did good. She calls me Tuesday, I had not heard from her since Saturday after s5 Bday. She was on her way to get him, said call from school, he was acting up, etc. She told me how she responded - she did good, I told her that, everything she said I would have said myself or agreed with. Then she asks about how he was, why he feels need to misbehave, etc. So I tell her about the above convo.

I was calm, told I was getting ready to share some hard info, but she was his mom, she asked about why, etc. I gave no speculation, nor judgement, did not get into boundaries which she clearly violated, just said - this is what he said, you asked, here you go. Spew and defense (no need to explain the defense, it was same s__t you all know) from her. I was not disappointed, asked her once to check her disrespectful tone, gave no options, gave no advice. No advice that is, save one bit - when she said "I don't understand, I do everything with him, everything. I take him out, I cater to him, I make the entire day about him! And he does not speak to me like that, he does not ask me to talk! Why would he say that to you?" To this I said, "I am not sure why, but I know I offered to him that if he ever wanted to talk, I would listen. And then when he did, I did." She thanked me at that point, for listening to our son, then she thanked me for sharing it all with her, she acknowledged that it must have been tough for me to hear these things.

So, I put this post in for a grounding. I am still a human, still a dude involved with some real chaotic kid that I share experience with in this life. Still go through this and fall upon training. Brubeck, Eagle, AndrewP - this chaos chick does exist in the real world, she is someone I speak to, she is someone I can touch and see, and she does annoy the holy s out of me. But, she can surprise me, make me laugh sometimes, and seems real on occasion, and I'm not calling her a liar - just saying I don't believe much that she says, I'm not just some philosoph here to practice for a book.

Brubeck correctly noted something about my personality - that I take a big picture approach, he was truly spot on. I do believe my writing and the way I choose to express myself when writing, especially regarding myself here - in anecdotes, metaphor, and creative language, could be sometimes distracting from the real fact that I am still an actual guy, who is just making the best of this opportunity in my life which has been gift wrapped in a s__t sandwich that I had to eat. Me and Midlife Wife and Midlife...