lost, don't leave the MBR... When I found out about OM, I very sternly told my WW that I would not share the bedroom, she fought about it, and then left the MBR... She won't like it, but doesn't mean she won't go. It was a big issue with W, but I held my ground and she left.
Not sharing your marital bed with a wayward wife is not controlling, it is you not tolerating an open marriage. You'll get the advice you need to set the boundary, just be patient.. Not saying any advice you received is wrong, just not helpful for the path you are trying to take.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized