Tell me what to do!!!

[Zanadoo]

I'm not sure how to gain his attention. But maybe that isn't the point?

You answered your own question - bonus points!

One of the advantages that we have living in small towns is that you don't need to gain his attention. Everyone around you will see the changes in you and your confidence and will tell him. As you shine brighter and brighter he'll see.

You've already got a good foundation that just needs a few cracks patched. That young firecracker of a woman that you once were is still inside you - you just have to chase the mouse out.

One thing to remember as well, the goal here isn't to draw him in like he's on the end of a rope. You want him to come back of his own free will because it's what he wants to do. I know you've spent time around cattle. Which cow gives the best milk? The one that walks into the parlour and munches her feed while her over-full udder is emptied? At the end of the milking she feels like she's gained something, not given it. Or the one you have to drag and kick into the stall?

When you are ready for him he'll be knocking at your door. There is a chance though that he might not, or you might decide that he's not right for you. But you'll be a stronger, better you and I'm sure there'll be a line at the door waiting to come in.

haha! Thank you Andrew for the farming analogies! Love it! We don't have milk cows but I totally get what you are saying. It makes me think of my husband and I trying to get a heifer to take a new calf this spring. We had her tied off by her head and her back feet to let the baby nurse. She finally acted like she had accepted the calf while she was trapped in the barn but once we turned them loose out in the pasture she wouldn't let the calf within 10 feet of her.
I think what you all are trying to say is stop focusing on my husband and focus instead on myself and my daughter. I guess I have just felt so lost and worthless for so long being with him that this "finding myself" feels like uncharted territory that I'm a little afraid of. I'm not sure how to go about it. Thank you for all of your encouraging words I'm so glad I'm here!!