Tell me what to do!!!

[Cherry]

Andrew, I second this, I think I added this into my long welcome.

I'm a busy mom, and carer for my mil, but I always take some time to fix my hair, put on nice clothes, maybe a spot of make up and ALWAYS a good old spritz of perfume. It does make you feel good about yourself, as does a good brow wax or visit to the salon for a good haircut/colour. Though I do have elbow length hair- so it needs some extra love.

My wh has noticed, and compliments me. Even spewing he sometimes slips in there that he thinks I'm a beautiful woman. I just like to feel my best for my confidence. Him noticing is an added bonus.

I hope you're feeling a little less lost. My good friend SH gives fantastic reading and ted talks to help. And if you're one with a runaway mind it does help. My ex (before wh) was a bit of a nasty character, he was verbally and occasionally physically abussive. Looking back, I have no idea why I stayed with him, if you saw me before him and now, I was the last woman you would think would stay with a character like this. But he ground me down so that I felt like a timid mouse, after one of his episodes he would come out with apologies and ask me not to leave. I guess maybe I felt sorry for him, maybe I thought I could help him, idk.

It was only when h dropped this on me that I realised how damaged I was, and I found lots of ways to take control of my thoughts and build me back up. To be fair, a good lot of our r, my h was a lovely supportive man. Very caring (maybe a rescuer), and he helped and encouraged me to get stronger.

You will get there, a lot of patience is needed for db, it's a long journey.