Taking my first sip of the water

[SH_]

Ghost my friend.

What is your update on the initiation of your seeking out assistance today?

I can't help but notice you avoided this question for you my friend.

Have you obtained the appointment?

[ATPeace]

Interactions between my W and I ? They are good she has basically best friended me I just want to be more than just her friend I know if I push for anything I will get rejected

I have been feeling better in myself emotionally I have not yet booked an appointment with the doctor I have been so busy with work I do realise this is something that will benifit me and I will get onto this I guess it is at times when I feel good I debate if I need to see additional councilers I know this is a must for me

I need to work more on me I have always pur myself at th bottom of the pack

[ATPeace]

Ghost my friend.

What is your update on the initiation of your seeking out assistance today?

I can't help but notice you avoided this question for you my friend.

Have you obtained the appointment?

I will try and do this today or Tomorrow

[SH_]

Ghost my friend.

What is your update on the initiation of your seeking out assistance today?

I can't help but notice you avoided this question for you my friend.

Have you obtained the appointment?

I will try and do this today or Tomorrow

I look forward to your update.

[ATPeace]

So W and I seem to be getting along I think we'll we intact together and with the children she goes out with her friends during the day for coffee if she wants to go out of an evening then rather than asking me do I mind if she goes out she will say I am out tonight when she goes out it is to meet with a female friend her best friend

I do not believe that she is looking for another relationship yet I am scared that she is getting further emotionally from me and has distanced herself so far from me that I can see the no Iove......yet she will still do things for me as a best friend would

She is helping me paint my mums house as we are trying to get it ready to sell ...we still eat together as a family we have been out just the two of us for meals

So to me other than no sex or no hugs and kisses everything is as would be if I was in a relationship with someone

We do not argue or fight so how have things changed since bomb date

1) she speaks he mind openly in the past she would bite her young more often now if she is not happy about something I have done she will tell me

2) she goes out and no longer tells me where she is going ... Leaving me to wonder and to have my mind spin about what she is doing

3) she will work the days and times that she wants and generally does not ask me if she can take on a new jjob

4) she does not tell me or involve me in what she is getting up to I have to ask her how's her day been etc

5)'she has locked me out of her iPad and phone again leaving me to wonder who she is talking to or arranging to meet with

6) we do not talk about the relationship our past and the problems that were in the past that got us to here me not doing enough with the kids and arround the house I have addressed

So I am no closer to having her back she is not in love with me she might care about me even love me so what now .....I miss the intamacy but I do not want to meet someone else ...hell I am not ready to meet someone else

So I still do not see what is going to snap her out of this she still wants to live apart I want to take this off the table work on rebuilding bit by bit

What has changed with me is I am not getting quite so emotional not feeling suicidal most mornings I no longer cry I am detaching from her emotionally hell I miss her ...we cannot rebuild if she does not want to rebuild

[SH_]

So W and I seem to be getting along I think we'll we intact together and with the children she goes out with her friends during the day for coffee if she wants to go out of an evening then rather than asking me do I mind if she goes out she will say I am out tonight when she goes out it is to meet with a female friend her best friend

I do not believe that she is looking for another relationship yet I am scared that she is getting further emotionally from me and has distanced herself so far from me that I can see the no Iove......yet she will still do things for me as a best friend would

She is helping me paint my mums house as we are trying to get it ready to sell ...we still eat together as a family we have been out just the two of us for meals

So to me other than no sex or no hugs and kisses everything is as would be if I was in a relationship with someone

We do not argue or fight so how have things changed since bomb date

1) she speaks he mind openly in the past she would bite her young more often now if she is not happy about something I have done she will tell me

2) she goes out and no longer tells me where she is going ... Leaving me to wonder and to have my mind spin about what she is doing

3) she will work the days and times that she wants and generally does not ask me if she can take on a new jjob

4) she does not tell me or involve me in what she is getting up to I have to ask her how's her day been etc

5)'she has locked me out of her iPad and phone again leaving me to wonder who she is talking to or arranging to meet with

6) we do not talk about the relationship our past and the problems that were in the past that got us to here me not doing enough with the kids and arround the house I have addressed

So I am no closer to having her back she is not in love with me she might care about me even love me so what now .....I miss the intamacy but I do not want to meet someone else ...hell I am not ready to meet someone else

So I still do not see what is going to snap her out of this she still wants to live apart I want to take this off the table work on rebuilding bit by bit

What has changed with me is I am not getting quite so emotional not feeling suicidal most mornings I no longer cry I am detaching from her emotionally hell I miss her ...we cannot rebuild if she does not want to rebuild

Hey G,

Remember this post you made on August 17th?

Ok so been here a very long time and have been helped by so many over the months.

SH_ thank you for standing by me I have started in the homework and I. Have watched a couple of the guy winch talks found them very interesting

What have you applied from what you watched?

So I am really going to do my best to make this next thread all about me and what I can do to help me.
Your best is not good enough...Just do what you say you are going to do. You must keep your word to yourself above all else.

I have been training with a personal trainer and although I have been packing on the muscle I know this by the weights I am now able to lift I still find that my weight is not shifting so diet is 80 % of what is the problem

I would say I am about 60 lbs over weight I realise it is not just about weight it is more about how I look and how I feel so I will use this as a guide

So for the next week I am going to monitor exactly what I am eating and I am going to make a reall effort that each and very time I go to grab something unhealthy instead I will DRINK THE WATER - TAKE A SIP and eat something healthy instead and at the end of the week I will weigh myself again

Every day I will start the day with 30 minutes of exercise at home. I have been paying a huge amount for a personal trainer and he has helped me but it is time I helped myself.
Are you doing any of this?

Goals for this week

Be more in touch with my children's needs I will spend a measurable amount of quality time with each of my children.

Do my share of the housework and I will decide what is enough.

Not get drawn in to arguments practice empathy and validation

I am going to look for somewhere to volunteer and by the end of the week I will report back here and let you know what I have found.
I did not see a report back from you on this?
Did you do this?

Ghost

What is wrong with the picture when you look at the first post in your thread here and your last one?

I have thought on this all day, and to be honest my friend...
I am exhausted reading the same thing over and over from you...
Remember my broken record comments...
My comments about broken records have become their own broken record now.

I really have nothing to say my friend.....
I see that there were no others that stopped by with thoughts today either....
Fatigue is setting in for those that want to see you progress....
What else can be said until you start to take action?

What is the update on setting an appointment as you have committed to me and those that are trying to help you?

Think on this Ghost.
You have not kept your word to yourself from your first post in this thread.....
Nor your word to yourself on many posts throughout your story....
Do you trust yourself?

If you can not keep your word to yourself, then what do you have left....?

Are you keeping your word to your W?
Might you see what the distance is growing?
Talk is exhausting?
More so when there is no action to back it up.

I continue to pray for you.
I hope you understand the desperate sense I am starting to have for you...

[roist]

Ghost/ATP

A new thread is coming.A new start. Prove yourself.Take this opportunity. I challenge you to not mention W in this new thread. Okay if there is an urgent situation that needs addressing, make an exception BUT honestly I have not read one of those in months here!

I will give you a second exception, because I know you are struggling.You can mention W if it is about a current interaction where you were decisive and manly imposed your decision.Attention no reminiscing or mind reading tolerated afterwards though.

Your W is giving you more space.WoW. what an opportunity. What are you doing with all of this extra time for YOU.

I will repeat myself. This is going to take a LONG LONG time. Lets say another full year, although it could be much longer. A thread lasts less than a month for you. Use the next month for YOU. I assure you it will have no negative affect on W/R/M. Commit to this for one thread.DDecide at the end of the next thread how you continue.

Best wishes. Ghost I relate to you. You can do this.

[ATPeace]

SH I do sence your despair and I am sorry that I have made you feel like this I will re read this thread fully and look and see what I can do to help myself

Your help has been amazing and I will revisit as this is what I need to do

I am greatful for everything and I realise I am the one that can change things

Thank you

Ghost

[SH_]

SH I do sence your despair and I am sorry that I have made you feel like this I will re read this thread fully and look and see what I can do to help myself

Your help has been amazing and I will revisit as this is what I need to do

I am greatful for everything and I realise I am the one that can change things

Thank you

Ghost

There may be some discouragement in my posts to you, but know that I will stick here as long as it takes for you to make some progress....
And to be fair my friend, some of my discouragement may be me projecting some challenges I am having....
I do not want to do that you....
I do apologize.....


I know this is hard as he!!.....
So know that I will be close by, but I may pull back going in circles with the same points, as I may not be the best point of view.

I know you can do this and I am praying that you have made an appointment before weeks end...
One small step G, one small step is all it takes to start momentum....

I saw this quote this morning on my instagram and I thought of you...
Maybe it can inspire you...

"You'd never invite a thief into your house. So why would you allow thoughts that steal your joy to make themselves at home in your mind?” -Unknown

May your find some peace this night and find courage in the morning as you wake.....

[ATPeace]

SH thank you my friend it means a lot to me to be in your thoughts

Ok I am [censored] scared of how things are going to go but something has to change I have had lots of support and my constant spinning is not helping

So things that I have learnt

1) I control me and I control my actions

2) everything one does is a choice

3) love his very little to do with it

4) time does not stop no matter how one feels it tick tick ticks till the day you die

So I am re reading my thread and I am going to do what I can to make the next thread as much about me as Possible and how I am working on making changes

From time to time I may recap on things to gain clarity but you focus will be on moving somewhere

So starting with this
I am still living with my W and I do not believe that this needs to change as we are getting along ....or is now the time that I need to make the move to separate houses while we are getting along to preserve the relationship that we have ....could it ever get to the point where we are not getting along and she starts to hate me ....or have I learnt enough already and through not biting or reacting to her upset and by validating and being supportive that this would be enough to keep things on the level.....no mind reading just actions.

Confusion as to what I should do or should not do not wanting to make things worse ...see I am still thinking about my situation this needs to change.

So my children how I love my children as they grow older challenges on how to parent them let them know they are loved keep them safe set boundaries give and take give them the freedoms to make mistakes and to be there for them if they need help but let them learn and let them make decisions

I will keep reading my current thread and look for ways to change

Take care

Ghost