I agree with you cheesyt. When I read this guys writing I get very afraid for his ex wife and children. I think most of the vets sense the same thing and hope to get through to him before he does something very bad and tragic. I personally think he needs some serious help and I hope that someone around him sees this and can interceded for the safety of his family.
Right now I feel that by responding to him he gets some sick pleasure out of the attention while he continues to live in this self created fantasy of his mind. I don't have an answer, but feeding his needs is not it.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
I still think we are all being pinked or catfished. I've seen this on addiction boards where these same things happen. We try to help the person deal with their addiction yet they don't want to hear it or listen. Then they claim, see it all worked out just like they claimed it would and you were all wrong. Thing is, it's all fantasy or made up. In some cases we don't think the person ever had addiction and just wanted to be a success story. In others they are not doing well at all - just claim to be. They say they are going to leave the board yet always return. Then all of a sudden they are gone either for good or until they make up a different screen name and start the process all over again with a different but similar story. They don't answer questions, ignore other posters comments or questions and play the fantasy. Is that's what's going on here? You all have to decide. I just know things simply don't add up.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Honestly I don't mind him posting here on his own thread but I do fear for him giving the newbies advice under the assumption it worked for him and they should do the same regardless of what the vets/boards say ..... one rotten apple syndrome.
Sorry CLD, I'm going to have to call you out on this one.
After all the years of being on here and other MLC forums, I have NEVER seen such a quick reversal of attitudes from the WAS. A couple of reasons why:
1) You were required to have supervised visits with your kids. By law, the WAS wouldn't just let you have them as easily as that. Plus, I've never seen a WAS be as giving and calm as you claim yours suddenly is.
2) When you first came, you were very emotional and even lashing out at those who disagreed with you. And now that you say there was this quick reversal of fortune, there is not the same intensity of emotion.
3) You continue to say that it was "her" mistake and that "she" was wrong, etc. Yet you still take no responsibility in your sitch and have refused to elaborate on your story when others have asked.
You know, there is no shame in your situation not changing or what you do not working. I believe any other forum you've joined will tell you there is no magic bullet. Accept that and work on it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I agree with all of the above. You guys and gals have seen it all. I do sense he needs to fix himself.
When he mentioned that he was writing a book it raised a big red flag for me.
I do hope he is sincere. Many here come for information and guidance. Not hogwash ideas and unrealistic dreams.
CLD You are not looking in the mirror just yet
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
She just called me and asked me if I can "watch" the kids via Skype for an hour while she takes an online college class. I agreed right away. First because I love spending time with the children and second because I love her, she is a great mother and it's in the best interest of the children for her to further her education. The calls are becoming more frequent and I have the feeling that she will ask me to do something together with her and the kids soon. I surely can't wait. :-) Very excited!!!
I stand corrected! CLD's situation is truly miraculous!
I mean, I have never heard of a WAS (or any spouse for that matter) ask their ex to "watch" their 3 and 7 year old via internet video. It's like being there.
And the fact that in just my previous post I mentioned that there was a lack of intense emotions in his last update, and suddenly he's "very excited!"
Must mean that blaming the spouse and controlling them via the law of attraction works!
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Yes, it's quite amazing. I read about the progress on the other forum and was filled w/such happiness for them. I do hope that everything works out for them.
On that note, I'm going to suggest that we all leave him alone, step back and watch this story unfold. Cld needs a safe place to post and his thread is the best place for him to post whatever is on his mind. Sometimes, we need to step back and allow the poster to post to his/her heart's content w/o us stepping in for a bit. We can learn so much more just by listening and observing in a case such as this.
As for his advice giving on other threads, well...then we will need to correct him, if the advice is not in alignment w/the DB practices of this forum. However, we should be doing this w/any poster that does this and not just Cld.
I want to leave you with something that has been dancing around in the back of my mind for quite some time...Have any of you given any thought that maybe Cld is doing the things he's doing to get a reaction out of us? This may all be part of his study to add to his "book". If he's studying MLC, who is to say that he isn't also doing a study on the LBS? Think about it. He knows exactly what he's doing w/the way he posts. Then again, our reactions may be feeding his ego the kibbles he needs to keep his spirits up. After all, it appears he thrives on debates. Debating/getting reactions could be his way of getting a "high". We just don't know. As I always say, step back, grab a seat on the curb and let's watch this show play out. Eventually all will be revealed.
We have devoted a lot of our time and attention to this poster and unfortunately, he's not interested in anything that we've had to say...so....let's turn our focus back on to those who need our assistance and leave Cld to his journaling here, on his thread for a while.
We can't help everyone and we need to accept that and move forward.
