Tell me what to do!!!

[Zanadoo]

Zanadoo,

First, I have to say, I seem to relate better with the guys than I do with the gals. I don't really understand gal language.

But, I don't think your husband's problem is MLC. You were married under duress and you were both young. Piaget, a developmental psychologist, identified four stages of developmental cognition. Many people, particularly guys, don't mature cognitively until their early thirties. In other words, they're still adolescents in adult bodies.

Getting married is often scary. Getting married and having a child can be particularly scary. When you mix youth, fear and discontent, it can be a lethal concoction for a marriage.

What to do? I don't know; others are better at that. Certainly you should start applying the DR principles, doing 180s and, if you can, get a DB coach.

Ultimately, you'll have to realize that you can't fix your husband, he'll have to do that. The best you can do is work on yourself and understand that you have the internal fortitude to get through this difficult situation.

And hopefully I've stalled long enough that you've gotten some help from someone that provides better advice than I do.

Thank you for your reply. I totally agree he has the brain of a teen and is trapped in an older body. I know I can't change him...that is something he will have to do on his own. But I guess with our separation and lack of communication I feel like the 180s I am thinking of won't be enough for him to notice. I'm just freaking out No big deal.