Need some parenting advice -- Mr. Fantastic is not making sure the homework gets done anymore. This isn't so much an issue for D13 and S10 who are doing all right at the moment, but S8's teacher has sent 4 emails in the last two weeks talking about dropped balls. A little of this has been my fault and we've corrected, but the most recent one was because S8 stayed with him and they went to the fair. I checked in with the teacher to see if Mr. F had replied and she said he hadn't responded to any of the four messages she'd sent.
My little S8 is a smart cookie and the family expectation is straight A's or ask for help. I'm OK with less than an A if effort has been made. I'm not OK with lying about homework assignments, dodging, and not doing his best. So I'm working on parenting that part out.
Mr. Fantastic has checked out of the parenting thing except for the occasional rant to me (three recent ones about one of S10's activities), or half-hearted suggestion. He is starting to show that if it isn't his weekend with the kids, he doesn't really care what happens.
I acknowledge this, and except for the pain it causes the kids, I'm OK with it. His values and mine are so different that I have no desire to try to accommodate his -- he believes things like, it's OK to accept underage drinking as long as the kids are in someone's home and not driving. This is NOT acceptable to me. Our values don't match and I don't want them to match and I don't want to parent to his values which I do not think promote quality adult behavior.
That said, I do need to keep S8 on a good road with regards to his schoolwork, whether he's with me or his dad. Any thoughts on how to achieve this without involving Mr. Fantastic?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
