I will do my best to "represent"... and drink as much wine as possible.
I'm bringing the beer pong table. Just sayin...
And if you change your mind..
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hahaha.....Home Depot....... The guys to girls ratio there is about ten to one, go there alone and ask for help or just look lost, odds are pretty good some guy will strike up a conversation!
Hahaha.....Home Depot....... The guys to girls ratio there is about ten to one, go there alone and ask for help or just look lost, odds are pretty good some guy will strike up a conversation!
The last time I was in Home Depot I think was 3 years ago when I was buying wood stain. I thought I would look into the bottle and squeeze at the same time to see the color. Not a good idea. I sprayed the stain directly in my eye, the couple next to me started freaking out and the woman was grabbing tissues out of her purse and I stained my face brown.
I'm late in doing so but wanted to respond to my favorite person on here - or one of them anyhow. You and I continue to be so much alike, I swear. I could have written much of that post you did about no one asks you out and so many you just don't have an initial attraction to. I so hear you as I'm living both. I too have moved to trying as best I can to look past that. Some aspects are harder than others when it comes to the attraction piece. But that's more for my own thread.
What I hoped to help you with is this masculine energy thing you seem to have going - and that's what is hurting your chances. You are one of the guys and then wonder why the "guys" are not asking you out. Really? What guy wants to date his buddy? I've heard Patti Stanger talk about this when coaching women (don't shoot me, yes I've watched the millionaire match maker). I'm not telling you to change who you are. Not at all. That's what makes you, you. But are you approachable? Do you give off energy that you are open to being asked out? Guys need to be the man and women need to let them - at least for attraction to build. I'm very willing to bet there have been guys interested but either too afraid or thinking that you don't want a guy, you just want to hang out and have fun. Guys are afraid of rejection. They will not ask you out if they think they will get shot down. Do you ever flirt with these guys? I'm betting not. Soften up a bit. Flirt with them a bit. Smile more, dial it back just 50%. Let them do small things for you - get you that beer, open your door, fix the whatever on your car. A more open, softer, approachable version of G may well see different results. I've seen this in female friends of mine and when they dial back things change. You will still be you but in layers.
Hope that makes sense. Have you ever been told this before? Something tells me you have but you struggle with how to do it. Again, to be very clear... I don't want you to change who you are. Don't be fake but present the best first version of you that you can, a more open, softer, flirty, but still sassy G.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Hi DOn! Thanks for stopping by! I always appreciate your perspective.
Growing up I was the ugly girl. Seriously. I always had a personality, though:) (the ugly girls always do). I guess I became attractive somewhere along the line. But my personality was always more relied on. My best friend growing up was a guy (although we were all sure he was gay, so a little feminine energy there). While I think I am who I am, this is my personality, that was always somewhat of what made me who I was not being at all the pretty girl.
I dress like a girl, do my make up, have long hair, get my mani-pedi's and so forth. I never wanted to do that growing up because I thought no one would even look the way of the ugly girl trying to be pretty. But it is actually the way I am. I like to look pretty when I can. In the same token, I am just a large personality when I open up, not prude at all. I can definitely see how I am viewed as one of the guys.
The only people I have ever dated were usually friends first who knew me and began to like me "that way". I've dated maybe one or two guys (one including exNG) who liked me "that way" from the moment we met. Both had said there was just something about me that wasn't like the others. And, awkwardly enough, the other guys who I have found out had huge crushes on me were married man friends. Yup. I apparently represent some strange fantasy of what they wish their wife was like. Ironic, isn't it?
That being said, I have been told to soften it up, flirt, ect. And I am the worst flirter, it out completely unaturally and I seem like an idiot. But I do know what you are saying. Aside from that I'm never in a setting with single guys. Usually I'm out with a group, or if I'm out with my best friend, who is very pretty and has that natural flirty soft feminine personality, guess who gets the guys? Picking up guys at bars isn't my thing. Otherwise my free time is spent in my daughter's activities setting with a bunch of married men, lol. Otherwise, I am in the stage of my life where I am a bit of a homebody. I like being surrounded by friends just hanging out enjoying some wine. Last night be and my friends baked apple pies and drank wine. Going out man hunting isn't my thing.
I do make more of an effort to smile when I'm out. I make small talk with people sometimes in the store. I try to tone down the truck-driver mouth.
But really, I am a woman and lady at heart. I like to be treated like a lady by a guy. Have a door held open for me, flowers, told I look pretty. I have fierce independence, but I would love for a guy to take the reigns and be the man. Truth be told, I probably put up some walls before I trust someone to see that side. But once I do, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
For now, I'll keep working on softening it up, while maintain who I am.
because I really actually like who I am. For once, I feel like me and not what someone else wants me to be.
just say "you're so funny!" (only if he is, of course...but we all think we are lol) I actually see that as a sign that a woman likes me when she says that...when she throws up, not so much though lol.
Ginger you are yourself, a very beautiful woman inside and out, with a loving fun nature. Very intelligent (how is school going by the way?) A great mom. A great nurse. Snarky hilarious.
Maybe try to be a bit softer, although I have never noticed you being hard. So what if you are not flirty like your best friend. You are you.
I really think Home Depot would be a good place to meet guys, well except for the stain squirting in your face LOL. Or how about the grocery store? Give guys advice about how to tell if their avocados are ripe while telling them how funny they are? I am going to try out "you're so funny!" on the guys this weekend, and will let you know how it goes.
Have you heard anything on your offer?
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Ginger you are yourself, a very beautiful woman inside and out, with a loving fun nature. Very intelligent (how is school going by the way?) A great mom. A great nurse. Snarky hilarious.
Maybe try to be a bit softer, although I have never noticed you being hard. So what if you are not flirty like your best friend. You are you.
I really think Home Depot would be a good place to meet guys, well except for the stain squirting in your face LOL. Or how about the grocery store? Give guys advice about how to tell if their avocados are ripe while telling them how funny they are? I am going to try out "you're so funny!" on the guys this weekend, and will let you know how it goes.
Have you heard anything on your offer?
Thank you , Linda! I don't want to try to be like anyone else, I do want to be me, thank you for remind me of my good qualities. I'm just the worst flirter in the world. I still dream of meeting Mr. right at the grocery store, however I go to the one everyone from town goes to, and yeah, they are all married or old. No fresh meat:). maybe home depot will work. And yes WII, I'll try to put on that smile and tell guys they are so funny! Let me know how it works, Linda. Of maybe I can go to the bank and find Mr. Right, hahaha.
I really want a scenery change. But I just can't. Although D9 said it would make you happy mom, we could move to (a particular state). At least I knew if I ever had make the decision to move to that other state, she would have been happy with it.
I found out there are 2 offers on the place, including me. I increased my offer to asking price. now I am sitting here impatiently waiting. If it's meant to be, I guess it will be. School is going well. I'm in week 2 of my leadership and management class, and I've got a 100% so far. I've realized I can do the work well, it's mainly finding time to do the work, which is a challenge. But I've been getting it done for a year!
I'm just chugging along. Doing the best I can everyday, trying to stay positive. I live my life, I enjoy some activities, although ME time isn't just happening lately. I do all my D9 stuff alone, I sit with another couple, or even ex and his W, but the pre stuff is all me. And sitting there with them, being the third person, especially with ex and his wife, is just a very lonely feelings. But it is what it is, right?
Just FYI, real men at Home Depot hangout in the treated lumber section. For guys that are looking for women (or anyone else that's so inclined), you go to the paint department on a Saturday morning.
That bit of knowledge comes from a lot of trips to Home Depot and Lowe's over the summer.
