Don't worry about how much time it should take. You don't need to know that right now. Yup, this isn't the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. There is no easy way out of this one, if you really want benefits and lifelong change.
The first step in discovering who you are is not acting on who your wife wants you to be. Or being scared of her reactions to your actions. I always believe we should be considerate of others, especially those we love, but how can you possibly find yourself and find out who you are if you base your actions on your wife's reactions?
