Confidence? What strange manner of phrase is this? I'm joking of course. But either I never lost it or I've never had it. I'm no different now than before. Sure I've constantly worried about money since we started school because we weren't following my budget anymore. And I couldn't see how much money was left on her bankaccount. Once I have a salary and can get rid of the debts I can finally feel like I'm not standing in quicksand.
On a different track: SHE FEELS TRAPPED by me. Todays revelation. (Mentioned before as feeling trapped by our situation) Any further situation ask for help "hinder her progress" is just proof that I am an obstacle. Case in poin;t trying to get help for when my new job tells me to open in the morning. I asked her to leave the kids in the morning on tuesdays and I'd pick them up on fridays for her instead of her hiring a #%#% nanny to do that for her. But no, that would apparantly make her day a 12-hour workday every second week excepting of course the weeks between moving out and acquiring beds for the kids in her new apartment. I understand that suggesting she sleep in my apartment even if I sleep elsewhere might not have been wise, but I was genuinely trying to find a solution that wouldn't inconvenience my job (Kind of don't want to lose it just as I gain it) or her.
She wants freedom to invite friends over. She's especially dreaming of inviting prospective male friends. (To my face she said this) which she can't do in our apartment. (In some ways I think it all boils down to sex and that I've let her down in this area) she also wants freedom to be able to go out and party even if she doesn't like bars or discos.
Honestly don't like the idea of having the kids 10 hours in daycare each day but that's what her freedom is costing them.
