Divorce. Thanks Obama

[SH_]

qt,

Your confidence may be shaken, and who knows if having what we perceive another's confidence would help or not.......
I have spent my whole life looking at others and wishing I had what they had or that I was like they are.
When I arrived on this board, I wanted to find someone that had the exact same sitch as mine so I could know what to do.....
Well, I still have not found my exact situation, but I have found many that I would never beleive that I could survive, and others that make me shake my head because of the craziness of the sitch

But then I recalled an analogy that I heard somewhere and it was comparing our life's journey to the game of poker.
We can't control the hand that we are dealt.....
But we do control how we play the cards in our hand......
I understand it that the winner in poker does not have the winning hand most of the time.
Life is like that.
We so often look at successful people and say they just had a better hand dealt to them than us......
Turns out there is not much truth to that thought.

Another small lesson I learned was from a movie I watched a while back.
Bridge of Spies.
A Russian was picked up and accused of spying in the US.
He was going to be put to death for this.
A sham trial was set up and an unsuspecting man was charged with being his lawyer and told to let the court find him guilty.
While the lawyer was talking to the accused, he noticed he was so calm.
He would get upset and then ask him, are you not worried?
The reply is what comes to my mind when I reach points of worry, fear or depressive states.
The reply was always, "Should I be? Would it help?"
Now in that I have found more wisdom and calm than in all of my attempts to calm my worry and anxiety over my lifetime.

Keep this in mind as you continue to progress.
When you start to feel down, anxious, worried or any other negative feeling, stop and ask yourself,
Should I be........
Does it help?

Continue to journal...
There is value in it....
IMHO, though be very aware of the manner that you do it.....
They say that writing something down has a very large impact on the brain and etchings of belief.
This is why we are challenged to write down our goals and dreams.
Power comes from actually writing something down.
There have been studies of this....
When journaling, I like to ensure that I include positive statements with the journaling of what troubles me. I also try to include actions and reframe words to make my point for myself, but use positive influenced wording.
I also try to be specific in questions if I need advice, but I accept the advice without debate and sort it out on my own. This minimizes the hot back and forth I see so often......
But this is my way and simply food for thought as I am working to better understand that there are different and valuable perspectives......

I invite you to join us in BluWaves thread for some healthy discussion and points of view about emotions and feelings. It really is good stuff.
Also have you checked out the guy winch ted talk on emotional first aid?

One day at a time...
One step at a time...