Still alive, still need guidance.

[AndrewP]

tyler12 - I do confess that I've just stumbled along your thread and haven't read back beyond the current thread to know the back-story.

One of the things that struck me as I was doing my dishes is how caught up we here on this forum can get with with GAL / detach / going dark etc to the point that we forget one of the most important (to me) "rules" that MWD has written. Do what works. Now sandi2 who I have immense respect for and who likely knows your sitch better than anyone posted an unusual one sentence response which from her is like a major whack with a 2X4 so stepping back and getting some perspective is a good thing.

So - what's actually happened? You were nice to your W and there was some "mucho smoochas" (Calvin and Hobbes tribute) that happened. Was that an initial response you wanted even if it was unexpected? Probably. However if the secondary response is that she pulls away then probably not. If your recent posts are any indication she's certainly seeming to "want" to reconnect with you.

Even though OM is still very much in the picture, after all they're living together you may be on the beginning of a beginning especially of prior posts from this thread are any indication.

So my plan moving forward is to be light and breezy, non pursuing and pleasant to talk to. She was able to see what she left behind by being here. And it may have got her mind spinning instead f mine for once

Personally I think you're doing great and wish you all the best. Keep feeling positive but be prepared for any shocks and keep posting. You've been doing what works

I was a bit upset by your comment Sandi as it made me feel like a failure, like I had wasted all I have done. I very much respect your perspective and advice so it was a slap and I got defensive. Now after some time I see what you mean tho. That Sunday was potentially a step back and if I don't catch it I could spiral back to the beginning.

Of all the people that I wouldn't try to mind-read - sandi2 is one of them.