I'll chime in just a touch as I've been there and done that as far as the "How did this Crisis thing start"
First off, it wasn't something you did .... I repeat ... It's not YOU who sent him into MLC, think of it as an old WWII bomb that has been sitting in a hill dormant for years, everything seemed normal till that little girl rode her bicycle over the hill and suddenly it went off. Is it the girls fault? No.... She was simply being a kid and riding her bike.
The crisis is much the same, it was going to go off with you or whom ever he ended up with. I can't speak for you nor everyone here but let's use my marriage. Things started getting rocky and as a husband I attempted to fix things here and there, tried to keep the peace, tried to make her happy but to no avail.... The more I tried the more I seemed to fall short. Did this make her crisis worse??? Who knows ... I could have certainly held my ground on so many areas but to play the "what if I" game is really a waste of time. She was going to enter into the crisis regardless of what I did or didn't do.
All any of us can do now is become better for this thing we never asked for. I did this
I've shared this before ... As I learned it here
For me the change started with one simple thing. I made my bed every morning. This was the first of a list of changes... I made that damn bed. Was something I could look at and say "Ok... I have done 2 things, I got my butt out of bed, and I have a nice made bed to come home to"
Second one was the lists .... Write 3 lists List 1: 10 Things you like about yourself (at the time this was a challenge) List 2: 10 Things you admire in other Women List 3: 10 Things you want to change about yourself (CAREFUL HERE.... Another things your spouse complained about... Things YOU feel you could be better at)
Post this list where you can see it several times a day and begin to think of how you can replace the things on List #3 with things from List #2
